I'm pretty sure that this topic will come up on my blog in a more coherent and articulate form. However I've got to get myself started on something - I read that the only way to get better at writing is to write a lot. The improvement will be an eventual effect of writing frequently and with the right effort.
I've been pondering about how people treat other people and their popularity. I've noticed that the trashy, "bad" people are the more popular people and how the "good" kids are unpopular and don't get the praise ant attention they deserve. This is kind of getting trite and corny but I'm thinking of the song "Nice Guys" when I think about this stuff.
Let me explain what I mean. The "popular" people are the ones that get wasted, party hard, and even brag about those experiences in school during the week. Those are all the people that get invited to parties and do "interesting," kind of lurid things that are worthy of likes, favorites, retweets, and Snapchat screenshots. They're out doing all those "bad" and unreputable things yet they don't suffer social consequences - they might even be seen as "cool people."
The "good" kids are the ones that don't do anything that would get them in trouble. However as a "good" kid, I've always faced a stigma of social isolation. It's hard to describe but when people look at me, I feel that they don't see a person but something that is worse than empty space - it's like I'm a doppelgänger or made of antimatter. Somehow I have this general feeling that the majority of people look at me and tell themselves that I'm not capable of having fun or even having small talk. The truth is that I'd rather do things that have more significance, such as discussing current events, than something grossly mundane, like getting wasted.
It's not like I'm incapable of having fun. I just can't have fun with just anyone, especially when it's something that's only fun for them and not for me, such as gushing over Hollywood stars after watching movies. It's just really depressing when you can't be with anyone that thinks like you. I don't mean clones of myself but people who at least value similar things that I also value.
Although people I'm close with advise me to just really mind my own business and live the life I want, it's hard to stay that focused when you're just with other people. I don't want to sound like I'm complaining about being a loner but it's rather lonely to maintain higher standards for yourself when everyone else isn't doing the same. It's not like having higher standards for yourself is a bad thing - it's just that so few people do this (let alone are capable of it) that it's hard to turn to anyone for support when the going gets tough.
I didn't start with a good purpose, didn't have good organization, and wasn't really sure what I wanted to convey to my readers but all I know is that I had some things that were pent up inside of me and I had to get them out of the confines of my mind.
